Top 10 Life Goals After Turning 25, What Do You Want From Life?

 

Photo Credit - Reinhard Pantke

Split, Croatia

June 2011

It was just uncomfortable. Warm, crowded, and even smelly.

In fairness it was my probably my own fault, as I was in fact wrapping up a one and a half month backpacking tour through Europe. Needless to say, my clothes weren't spring fresh. But I will say it anyway. I smelled like someone you might find at your local Whole Foods wearing a hemp t-shirt and dread locks after a 2 week bender.

Perhaps my lucky seat partners in the waiting area were even a bit unhappy as I sat shoulder to shoulder in an inordinately crowded airport terminal in Split, Croatia. It was a warm summer day and my backpack of dirty clothes was perched high in my lap,  as I sat sweating and waiting for my flight to London.

Seconds later the attendant mercifully announced that my flight was ready to board. I boarded the plane and fell into my seat exhausted and slightly hung over. I let my head tilt upward and just smiled thinking about my crazy journey. Sometimes travel can be painful, but that smile is proof that the temporary pain is worth the everlasting memories. I remember thinking for a moment, if this thing crashes, I didn't do too damn bad, my life I thought was a success.

I was wrong though...

The fact was that I just hadn't answered my why yet. What did I want from my life?

Other than a checklist of goals I had set aside, I had nothing much to show for. I had no source of inspiration, no legacy to leave behind. I had nothing but great experiences all over the world and a checklist of cool things I'd accomplished in my journey of self discovery.

Photo Credit - Dawn

But How Did the Idea of This List Ever Come About?

A while back now I created a post, listing of the top 25 things I wanted to achieve before my 25th birthday. I made lists on both my 23rd and 24th birthdays in an effort to track my self improvement efforts and set out goals that I wanted to achieve.

I guess you could say this was a quarter life bucket list of sorts and I am proud to say that many of the goals I set out to conquer were achieved. Now that I am 25, and in fact rapidly approaching 26, I feel that it is time for a new list.

The New List

Turning 25 was really when it hit me that I was a true grown up. It was quite easy to mess around in my early 20's and simply get by, much of society encourages this in fact. For myself, I did not have a clear picture of what I truly wanted with my life and instead underwent a 2 + year period of self exploration and improvement. That period of my life is much of what is documented here on Living Bueno and I am glad to be able to look back and reflect on this important time in my life and provide ideas for other going through a similar stage.

Tonight however, things feel different and it is once again time to look forward, this time far beyond a one or two year window. I feel compelled in fact to make a new list of goals, a list that will serve more as a life plan that I can share with you. While my previous lists were more goal driven, including fun trips, physical goals or new skills, this list will focus on the bigger picture.

I write about this tonight because I have recently had a moment of clarity where the past, the present and the future all seem to make sense and I am able to answer the question many of us cannot;

"What do you want in life?"

It is a tough question to answer and I am not saying that I know all the answers. However if I can make a list of goals and dreams geared toward self improvement, amazing vacations and physical goals, I can surely make an attempt to figure out 10 things that I want to live my life for moving forward. Here goes nothing...

The List

Photo Credit - Hamed Saber

1. To Hold God First in my life- I am realizing now that I have been treating God like a buddy in the passenger seat of my car, instead of letting him take the wheel. While I did not grow up religious, having seen the inside of a church maybe twice before my 18th birthday, I have begun the process of growing my relationship with God and according to his plan.

I am a very proud and hard headed person and it has taken me awhile to come around and give up the reigns. The amazing thing that I have noticed is that once you let go, commit to living your life the right way according to gods plan, life seems to get a whole lot easier.

2. To Build an Amazing Relationship and a Strong Marriage- This is something that will likely shock many friends who know me. For a while now I have been completely jaded, unwelcoming to the idea that I would ever get married and start a family.

Things have changed. After finding a best friend, who after a few months become my girlfriend, I see clearly that life is not supposed to be lived alone. Independence is a great thing to enjoy, however there is no greater force in this world than love. I am glad I found it and want to spend my remaining years being the best man and provider I can be for my spouse and family, with God at the forefront of everything.

3. Family Comes First Always- Growing up it is easy to let you personal ambition, busy schedule and personal probelms consume your time. It is so easy to forget about the what really matters in life, your family. We spend our time worrying about what new venture we are going to start, what fire we have to put out at the office or what vacation we are planning and we fail to realize that these are mere hiccups in the plan for our lives.

Our family is the cornerstones, the pillars that hold us up and enable us to build a life in the first place. If that client at the office throws a fit, it will be ok, it really will. If I were to lose a family member and know that I wasn't the son, brother or cousin I should have been, that is not ok.

We have no excuse in life for not loving our family to the fullest of our abilities and this is something I intend to focus on forever. Rebuilding and maintaining the relationships with loved ones that they deserve.

4. Live A Life That My Grandchildren Will Be Proud Of- This goes along with the first three on this list, however it takes things a step further. It is one thing to live a good life you can be proud of, but it is another to leave a legacy, your true mark on the world, affecting and improving the lives of others both while you are here and after you are gone.

Photo Credit- Kevin Dooley

5. Realize My Full Potential Physically- I've made some amazing progress, realizing many of the goals I set out to accomplish on my 25 before 25 list. Now is the time to take things to the next level getting my body to another level and looking and feeling amazing.

I am over 100 lbs lighter, but I have weight to lose still and muscle to gain. I want to be a role model, showing others that you can not only lose weight and get healthy, but also enjoy an amazing physique no matter how bad things are for you right now. I still have a ways to go, but I will get there.

6. To Always Do My Best and Do the Right Thing- This one is damn hard, I'll admit. I am sly, too smart for my own good and overly creative sometimes when trying to figure out how to make things work. The truth is that if you vow to always not skew the lines, bend the rules and instead conduct yourself with integrity, honor and respect, you will prosper handsomely and also be able to sleep at night. Its a hell of a personal struggle, but this is something that I always want to be known for.

7. Always Encourage and Inspire- There is nothing that bothers me more than someone who pokes holes in everything. Those negative influences in your life who tell you all of the difficulties with nearly any endeavor you try to partake in. Everything is not possible for everybody, this is a fact. However I never want to impose limiting beliefs on anyone else. Positive encouragement with realistic helpful advice trumps negativity and nay saying any day of the week.

8. To Travel The World Slowly With My Family- Solo travel is great, its amazing. In all my adventures traveling the world I have to say that the only thing missing while out on the road was those loved ones who matter the most. I want to be in a position where I can share the amazing things that I have seen around the world with the people I love the most. There is a time for independent exploration and a time to live life hand in hand and for me the latter is where I am at now.

9. To Do My Best In Maintaining Friendships Around The World and At Home- I have met so many amazing people while traveling and right here at home in Seattle. I want to reconnect with old friends and continue to stay in touch with everyone I have met along the way. Living a life with a large social network of great friends of all different cultures and walks of life is truly rewarding. This is something that can only encourage growth and continual learning throughout life.

10. To Never Forget, Yet Let Go of The Past- Looking back is something that can be very productive in life and this blog has been my way of doing so in the past few years. However while reflection is productive, dwelling on the past does not help anyone. I never want to project feelings from past experiences of when I have been wronged on new people in my life.

Learning how to let go of the tough things that have happened and learning to trust, love and grow with someone new is a must when moving forward. Never forget where you can from, but build for the future and live in the present.

Coming Full Circle- If You Feel Lost Consider This

By- Rick A. Griffith

"Reflection is priceless"

Photo Credit - Ian Sane

Have you ever had the feeling that everything that has happened in your life has prepared you for this very moment?

Lately something is quite different within me, a change that I cannot explain.

For years now I have wandered through life in search of something, although I did not know exactly what it was that I was looking for. In this process I learned some invaluable lessons that I otherwise would have never discovered.

I remember in a 2009 interview I did with Ross Jeffries, a question that I asked about what tips he might have for people in their early 20’s trying to find out a direction for their lives. His response was that it is up to the individual to find their own path.

“Do not be scared to be lost, this is natural.” He said.

“I thought I wanted to be a comedy writer in my 20’s and it took me a while to realize that that just wasn’t what I was made for, or even wanted from my life”

"I would always tell myself, No ordinary life! I didn't want an average life, I wanted more."

Of course Ross went on to become well known for being featured in the NY Times Bestselling book “The Game” as well as being one of the subjects that Tom Cruise based his character in the movie Magnolia off of, not to mention building a successful business in teaching men how to be successful with women as a top dating coach.

I know now that being lost, seeking answers and experiencing turmoil in your personal life can be an amazing experience. Sure this can be extremely uncomfortable; you will be unstable, reckless, emotional and at times flat out depressed.

However what else could ever force positive change. Having a life that is just good enough not to make positive change is the epitome of misery as you are truly inhibited from ever achieving your dreams.

To find a balance between pipe dreaming and reality, you must at some point leave your comfort zone and test the limits of what is possible, putting yourself into tough situations in order to see what is and is not possible for you personally.

Over the past few years I’ve tested these boundaries in many different areas of my life.

• I’ve been flush with cash and unhappy as hell.
• I’ve had my back against the wall without a dollar to my name and still been happier than ever.
• I’ve traveled all around the world in places where I had no idea where I was, how to ask for directions or what I was even doing in this place. The thrill of this was unreal, some of the most fun I've ever had.
• I've at times been depressed coming back to ordinary life, trying to make life at home as fulfilling.
• I’ve been over 100 lbs overweight miserable, having health issues and extremely depressed.
• I’ve been 110 lbs lighter swimming in the Mediterranean Sea off the beaches of Sicily with a shit eating grin on my face.

My point is this. I get some flak for being irresponsible, unstable and unrealistic. That is fair.

However I would like to counter by asking you this.

Do you know your own limits?

Have you been up and down enough in life to realize exactly what it is that you want?

Or

Have you spent your life holding on as hard as possible to avoid ever having to change?

I am not championing my lifestyle the past few years, however I am also not quick to condemn it. This period has been essential in my growth into adulthood.

My mistakes and triumphs have painted a clear picture of EXACTLY what I am capable of and what I am not. I now know my limitations.

I write this today because things in my life have changed in a very real way as of late. I have come full circle in the past few weeks and I have realized that it is possible to live an amazing lifestyle, shunning the status quo lifestyle and seeking greatness all while right here at home in Seattle. It took a few years of gallivanting around the world and finding myself to realize this, but it is now hitting me like a Pacquiao left to the face.

It was ok to be lost, to wander through my early to mid 20’s in search of meaning, direction and a sense of self. It is ok for you to wander too, in fact I highly recommend you to do this in order to find exactly what it is you want.

At some point down this road, an abrupt change in your mindset will occur. For me it literally happened within a few days of arriving back in Seattle this holiday season.

Travel, weight loss, self improvement, writing, this blog, these were just tools in getting me to this point. Life skills and experience I acquired along this crazy road.

I have discovered the career path that I want to follow, the place I want to live and a person who I care about deeply. And this realization all happened at once when I realized that I was finally happy with being who I was, who I had become because of this period of being lost.

And so I ask you again,

Have you ever had the feeling that everything that has happened in your life has prepared you for this very moment?

Until recently, I had not.

Today I can tell you that I have. The proof however is in execution, not in blog posts.

You will notice a new voice on the blog, more confident, more realistic, and less idealistic. This is a maturation of thought, not an abandonment of optimism.

I hope that you will follow my journey into a more stable lifestyle. That being said you can be sure that I will never stop challenging myself and whatever journey I embark on, I will always attempt to be the very best that I can be, this time within my own limits.

Cough Medicine & Supermodels - A Story About Finding Success & Thriving In the New Year

By - Rick A. Griffith

Photo Credit - Dave Marrow

New Years Eve, December 31^st 2003

Mukilteo, WA

I pried 4 red pills free from their packaging and slugged them down with a sip of Miller Lite as I sat alone in complete darkness in my room looking out at my neighborhood sullenly. The drug was Cordiciden, a cold & flu remedy that my brother and I had also discovered worked quite well as a hallucinogenic in higher doses during our latest bout with a head cold. The truth was that other than a plugged nose and a broken spirit, I was fine. This New Years Eve however would be a night that I wanted to forget, however looking back now it is one that I will always remember.

I was a high school junior, had many friends and a witty sense of humor. I was also an above average athlete though this fact got lost easily as my brother, one grade older than I, was a superstar in sports throughout our years growing up. I would have to be content with living in his shadow, something I had gotten used to.

Now before you slit your wrists let me say that I am going somewhere with this. Tomorrow all around the world we will be ringing in a new year once again. We will make promises and break them within mere weeks as we get distracted by our own busy lives and fall into old habits. Some of us however will make a change and stick with it. This is not because of our goal setting, will power or ability to enjoy a fresh start, though these things don’t hurt our efforts. Those of us who succeed in our efforts to make positive change in our lives will do so because for once a light went on and we stood up and proclaimed that we were sick and tired of finishing second, being mediocre and living an unfulfilling life. This moment I am referring too happened to me back on that cold depressing night in 2003 as I dosed off from a mega dose of cold medicine.

In the weeks leading up to the New Years Eve, I had begun building a closer relationship with a girl I had grown up with, (let’s call her Cindy even though those of you who grew up with me will likely know who I am mentioning anyway).

I had always seen something in Cindy even though she was not considered the prettiest girl in Elementary, Middle or High school. I always did have a keen eye for opportunity and talent, something that would prove true in this situation as well.

Cindy was very pretty but didn’t really come into her own until late in High School and thereafter. With this being the case, I had a shot with her being a popular although admittedly chubby kid growing up. We had hung out a few times and I of course had formed a stronger liking for her as I had a crush on her for many years growing up.

A few days earlier we had hung out at her house while her parents were out of town. It was a fun night of drinking and hanging with friends. I had invited my brother over to partake in the partying. We all had a decent night and I felt as if things couldn’t be going any better, I was content.

Later that week was New Years Eve. My brother and cousin urged me to come hang out, though they didn’t know what they were going to do at that time. I declined and instead decided to stay home as I was a bit plugged up and didn’t feel like drinking. At about 8:30 I got a call from my brother, Cindy had invited him over to hang out and he was very excited about this. Clearly I was not as enthused, however playing the role of a back up for most my life, I wasn’t about to ruin his party and instead decided to spend my night unconscious.

I remember washing down the few pills in an effort to get a little buzz and take my mind away from the turmoil I felt within. As the ceiling spun above me I made a promise to myself that I would no longer accept coming in 2^nd place, watching anyone else live the life I wanted for myself.

The following 6 months I shed 60lbs of fat and got into the best shape of my life. I worked out every single day, ate flawlessly and learned how to take care of my body. Friends at school even mistook me for my brother at times and going into my senior year of high school I looked like an entirely different person, a far cry from the chubby kid I had left on that bed on New Year’s Eve.

Senior Pic

I internalized the pain I felt, turning it from negative energy into motivation to never relent in reaching for my dreams and never live a life of mediocrity. It is one of the reasons that I still today prefer swinging for the fences and either striking out or hitting a home run in any venture I choose.

No I didn’t sweep Cindy off her feet, this after all isn’t a Hollywood production. In fact looking back I was quite immature to feel so hurt in the first place. We both went our seperate ways as communication dwindled, we were in fact going to two different high schools which made this easier.

Cindy went on to become a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model and is currently dating(Update- engaged to) a Grammy Winning R&B Artist (told you I had an eye for talent).

While I can’t say I have the same flashy resume as her, I can say that this is something that taught me how to define a turning point in my life and set out in the direction of my dreams. I learned from this one defining moment how I could turn things around and become better.

What I learned more than anything is that in the end you will not be making a major change in your life for any other person. The only person that you can and should change for is you. When you reach the point of frustration in being unable to see the results you want in any part of your life, you must define your turning point and funnel that frustration into frantic action and eventual positive results.

So 2012 is here now. Have you reached your own turning point? Is there anything in your life that frustrates you enough for you to stop immediately and say, I am done!?

I hope you are. I know that I am.

Today is not for writing down crazy goals and forgetting about them next week. Today is a day to pause, reflect and take a deep look at what is wrong in your own life. This is merely a time to stop all the frantic madness of everyday life and declare your commitment to living a better life in the New Year.

I wish you all a very happy 2012 and thank you for following Living Bueno into the coming year. I hope this little story can provide a little kick start to help you light the fire that will push your forward, hitting the ground running into the New Year.

One Way Ticket to Freedom

By- Rick A. Griffith

Photo Credit - Paul (dex)

On some level many of us often wish to be free from a daily life that seems to bind us to certain schedules, places and people. This is one reason why travel appeals to such a wide array of people from different backgrounds and cultures. We all have within us an innate sense of curiosity that longs to one day be exercised freely without being held back by the expectations of society.

We may at times have the chance to dabble in this exercise throughout life, many of us taking one or two week trips to new places, maybe even foreign lands where we get a glimpse of the life being lived outside of our own small lens. These experiences will prod at our curiosity throughout life creating dreams, ideas and plans that often times, never come to be.

This is quite a depressing admission by many and while many poor souls spend their final days reminiscing on the life they lived, I’d be willing to bet that in these days, the thought of "what if?" often comes into play. Many of us in fact, will never get to experience many of the things we hoped for as death is an indiscriminate monster that does not cooperate with the dreams or aspirations we have set forth.

There is however, one terrific way to at least hedge your bet against your exploration of this curiosity before death steals away your opportunity. Right now in fact you have the opportunity manage this situation by taking action, instead of sitting back, hoping, waiting and wishing.

Within about 5 clicks of your mouse and possibly some minimal data entry, you can right now make a commitment to yourself that this curiosity is worth at least exploring.

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page” - St. Augustine

If you have the guts, if you are feeling the message, go ahead and just do it.

Buying a one way ticket to a foreign country where you may not even speak the language is a fascinating experience. In late 2009, after months of soul searching and hundreds of hours of research, I bit the bullet. I booked a one way flight to Lima, Peru a place I knew very little about. Upon receiving my e-mail confirmation, I cannot explain the feeling of excitement, adrenaline and fear of the unknown that came over me all at once.

One month later as my flight glided into Jorge Chaves International Airport in Lima, I got the same rush. As we landed my eyes were closed, my smile couldn’t be withheld and the journey of a young man into the unknown began.

As I look back nearly two years to the day of when I booked this first one way ticket to South America, I cannot explain how much the decision to explore my nagging curiosity has changed my life. I have grown more in two years than in the previous 23, though not literally. In fact I’ve lost 100 lbs, began a career as a writer, made many friends all around the world and seen remarkable places that I once only dreamed of.

Sure there have been annoyances like long bus rides, lonely nights in places with no one to talk to and friends or family who become jealous or simply can’t understand the idea. However these things come and pass and you realize in the end that this fear that prohibits so many of us from every truly living is completely unwarranted. We realize that in fact, this exploration is perhaps the best way to figure out what we truly want in our lives and that maybe what we were working toward before was just not that important. A figurative and literal world of possibilities opens up to those willing to take that first step, book a ticket and roll with the punches.

That feeling I felt on that runway, that rush that comes with hitting the road. That is what life is supposed to feel like. That is what it feels like when you let your curiosity lead the way.

An open mind, 5 clicks and a bit of data entry can change your life. Who knew it was all this easy?

The Next Trip - Vote To Choose My Next Destination

The Next Trip

I was talking to a buddy on the phone today who was heading to Buenos Aires, one of my favorite cities, and he was looking for a few travel tips. During our conversation he said something that caught me a bit off guard.

"Don't you kinda feel the itch already to go hit the road? I mean I know you just got back"

Photo credit- David Berkowitz

Dammit.

I'd be lying to say that I hadn't thought about another plunge overseas. The truth is nearly everyday I end up, at some point taking a peek at the current prices of flights and dreaming of where I might take my next voyage.

So tonight I decided that even though things are quite busy here at home in Phoenix, I could find a way to make some time to travel in early 2012, but I'd have to pick a destination that is:

A) Within a reasonable distance so that the flight is not too expensive.

B) Located in a Spanish speaking country.

C) A place that I can go for two weeks and get a good feel for the city.

The locations that I came up with were:

Destinations

Photo Credit- Eneas

Mexico City,Mexico

While you won't find much good press about Mexico City here in the US, I have heard from many travelers from around the world that this is a great city to come and see firsthand. I have a buddy from here I might even try to persuade to come along with me and see the city through a natives eyes.

Photo Credit- Ricardo y Marta

San Juan, Puerto Rico

Probably the safest play on the list, but still an excellent place to spend a few weeks and also a place where I wouldn't mind hanging out at the beach and getting aquainted the local food and drinks.

Photo Credit- Szeke

Cartagena, Colombia

Bourdain sold me on this little jewel in Colombia. If I come here I'll probably end up rolling down to Medellin and/or Bogota by bus. My only reservation (sorry Tony) is that I feel I might need more than a few weeks to get a good feel for the city.

Photo Credit- Purotico

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

From everything that I have heard this is my kind of place and if this city tops the list I'll be more than happy to go and see what all the fuss is about. This is another city where I might reach out to a travel buddy and coax him into coming along.

The Choice Is Yours

Now I have decided to take a page out of my blog friend Colin Wright's book and empower my wonderful readers with the choice to decide where I will be going in March of 2012. In the Sidebar on the top right please cast your vote for the location that you would like to see me check out and unlike last time when I forgot my camera cord, I will take many pictures, videos and of course share with you some fun stories from the trip.

No Bullshit

Please Vote Now and I promise that I won't panic in late February and vote 900 times to make sure I go to may favorite spot. The choice is truly yours and I hope through this exercise I get to see a great place I may not have otherwise chosen. I have a great group of readers and trust you guys to send me to the right spot, so let's see it!