Living Bueno

  By- John Spada

Lake Como has a reputation for being expensive, which it is, if you stay in Como. There are two youth hostels on the entire lake, and the other is in Menaggio, way up on the northern end of the lake. Menaggio is one of the cheaper places I've been, and the hostel is a beacon of youth and energy in the town. The most enjoyable way to get from town to town (Bellagio, Como, Lecco, Etc.) is by ferry. I found myself on all my ferry rides being the only one under 45, which spawned refreshing conversations and unveiled new perspectives.

Lake Como Fun Fact: A lot of local eateries put wild boar on the menu under local cuisine, but it isn't. Wild boar were brought in by local hunters for sport, and now populations have grown out of control because they have no natural predators in the area. Local farmers are having huge issues with them ruining crops. How did I find this out? The answer comes later.

 
When I got into Menaggio the first person I met was Jason, a very skilled cyclist from Canada. I was quite excited because I have been searching for a place to do some cycling this entire trip. He had been packing his bike around with him, and I went down to Como and rented one for the three days I would be in Menaggio. Everyday we would spend five or more hours on our bikes exploring the local area, from Lake Como, to Lagano, up through the southern Swiss border, and back down around the lake. It was an incredible way to see the country side, and a perfect change of pace after I had been in Rome for a week.
Now to explain my inside information about boars.

First some back story on the hostel. The hostel was started up in the early 80's, and they welcomed all travelers, but weren't keen on tourists. This means no big groups, or people that are going to just hang out at the hostel all day. It was started by a man named Tiziano and his wife Paola. Tiziano is a wonderful cook, and would make amazing meals for all of the guests every night, for a very cheap price. The hostel had a warm cozy feel with wooden walls, a huge open fire place, and a grand piano in the corner.

Photo credit- ezioman

Tiziano would talk to each one of the guests personally over meals and such, and as he explained it "They were a name and a person, not just a number". After his reputation grew (Rick Steves was the first to put him in a guidebook), people would come from all around the world for the beauty of the lake, but also for the amazing food. After some legal changes and some sort of fall out with the local governing bodies, Tiziano was ousted a few years back and the hostel lost its heart and soul. It is still an amazing place to stay, but more because of the area, rather than the hostel itself. The fireplace is gone, the walls were replaced with the stale white walls you see in doctors offices, and the piano is gone. Fabio, who was the 100th guest ever at the hostel, took over after the fallout, and is attempting to recover the vibe that he remembers from long ago, but as you can imagine its easier said than done.

On my last night there, Jason who has been a cook for eight years, and Aubrey who has worked at the hostel for eight months, were given an invitation by Tiziano to the restaurant he opened a few miles down the road, post-fallout. As we had all been hanging out for a few days, I was extended an invitation as well. We went to Tiziano's place around seven, and were immediately invited into the kitchen to chat and help as he prepared the meal. He explained his philosophy, which he explained as "Non-Democratic Cuisine". Tiziano has a set menu for only a week at a time, and every Sunday comes up with a new menu for the coming week.

There are a few "theme" days involved; Tuesday is the lake menu, Sunday is grandma's menu, Thursday is the garden (vegetarian) menu. Tiziano uses all local ingrediants, and cooks everything from scratch. He runs the restaurant downstairs with only 25 plates per night, while his wife runs the 16 person bed and breakfast upstairs. Because its the off season, we were the only people in the place, and got a full explanation behind all of the food. Our night had a chestnut theme. It was the best meal I've had in my life. I'm finding it hard to properly convey how great it was, but he charged us each 30 euro for a four course meal with a new wine to match every course. He would bring out the plates, sit and chat for fifteen minutes about the inspiration and logic behind the dish, and then return to the kitchen to get the next course ready.

He would explain everything from why the pasta had a certain name, to the bit about wild boars, to the reason food was used in certain regions, to the fact that he liked to explore poorer regions of Italy for new ingredients because they truly got the most out of what was available. It was an incredible meal topped off with homemade grappa and an explanation of the progression of his cooking career. One of the best ways to sum it up is to say that he is all about quality over quantity. Below is the menu from our chestnut themed meal.

Chestnut Warm Salad
Chestnut Tagliatelle with Lard and Leek
Veal Stew with Chestnut
Chestnut Cream and Chocolate Sauce

The decor of the restaurant was that of an old mans library with a warm feel, and old Italian cook books packed into shelves all around. A classical guitar on the table, and a fireplace in the corner.

An amazing experience that was exactly the type of thing that can only be lived by opening ones mind and saying yes to invitations that arise while on the open road.

By- John Spada

 Photo Credit o palsson

Think Vegas, but set in a medium sized European canal city. Subtract all of the venue shows, but add a whole lot of sex and marijuana, and a dash of mushrooms, and you have an idea of Amsterdam.

Fun Fact:                                                                                                                                    In Amsterdam hostels, snoring is a large issue because 85% of your roommates have extremely bad cotton-mouth.

Das:
We met Das at a coffee shop called the basement. The shop has a very cool vibe, and during our time there played a bunch of American rap remixes that were perfect for the environment. Das grew up in India, then relocated to the UK, and finally now is living in Amsterdam. Das has a medical marijuana license, and for those of you not in the know, medical grade drugs tend to be of a higher quality then regular stuff. Then you have hash, which is a resin type substance, that has a higher THC content than normal marijuana. Das had medical grade hash, and was more than willing to share during our pleasant half hour conversation. He was an extremely nice guy and, needless to say, after we left the basement coffee shop we were all quite stoned. By the time we got out of there, it was around midnight and we decided to head back to the hostel.

John the Regular:
So with our heads swimming and our eyes bloodshot, we returned to the hostel to find our dorm had nine people, with only eight beds. When you check in, you receive a card with your room number and bunk number, so my natural inclination was, "Everyone show your card for your bunk, if we all have one, I will go ask the manager what to do". Everyone in the room was close to our age and in a similar backpacking situation, except John the Regular. Every person in the room except for JtR held up their cards. We proceeded to ask JtR, do you have a reservation? Do you have a bunk? A card? Don't you think as the 46 year old (admitted pervert), you should maybe move?

How to identify the guy trying to squat in your hostel dorm:
1. John would essentially only say three things, I assume because he was a bad liar, and really didn't want to double back on one of his lies.
"I'm John, I'm a regular"
"I'm here until the 30th"
"I've been in a couple popular American movies, such as independence day"
"I'm not here for the weed, I just like the offbeat sex stuff"
2. You must have a card to get by reception, so the guy that comes into the room around noon, and fails to leave for the rest of the day is probably a squatter.
3. He has an outright creepy demeanor, and admits he's a pervert.

So after attempting to get John the Regular to move without having management intervene, we were unsuccessful, and I had to unleash the Canadian bulldog known as Sheldon. Sheldon was one of our traveling partners from Paris, and he's the type that you send to talk to management, because he refuses to take any solution but the one he desires. The manager came to the room, went through the same card process as before, and established the same results. The managers first solution was that I would move to a new room, as I was the last one to return to the room, and was therefore without a bunk. We explained the situation once more to the manager, and in the end John the Regular was moved. It was a very sketchy situation.

Photo Credit Comunicati

How to identify the guy you should follow to the coffee shops:
When you check in around four, he is the American guy still napping in his bunk. This was Bryan, from St. Louis. Another extremely nice, good natured guy, who had an in depth knowledge of which shops were the best, and how to hit some of the crazy bongs that became available. He was our guide in Amsterdam while we became aquanted with the area.

Overall a very enjoyable city, but it also presents a high risk situation for spending a lot of money, as Marcus (aussie friend) did when he became intrigued with some of the more sexual aspects of the town.

Important message in Bold, Readtime-12 minutes bold 16 minutes total

Photo used under Creative Commons from Beatrice Murch

Right now I am sitting in the center of Buenos Aires, looking out at the statue El Oblesco from the second story of the huge McDonald's. Hey I had to stay true to my fast food American roots right? In two days I will be hopping on a bus, my 5th so far on this trip and beginning the trek back home to Seattle.

The past three months have been an absolutely unreal experience. I’ve seen 3 great countries in Peru, Chile and Argentina and have met hundreds of amazing people. I’ve gained cultural knowledge, some great friends and most importantly a fresh perspective.

I left three months ago despite the pleadings and warnings of family and friends. This was a period of my life would be the ending of a very painful chapter, in which I had fallen into a deep rut.

Photo used under Creative Commons from Armando Maynez

 
I had set my mind on moving to Buenos Aires and I knew that I wouldn’t be content until I made it happen. My stubbornness wouldn’t allow me to enjoy anything else unless it moved me closer to fulfilling this dream. It became an obsession, everything that went well in my life was bittersweet.

An  asterisk was put beside every enjoyment. It explained that while this occurrence was great and a welcome change to the landslide of devastating events I’d recently endured, it wasn’t creating happiness unless it led me closer to this journey.

For the record, I was wrong.

I was also right. Let me explain…

I was wrong for leaving when I did. While timing is never perfect, my time in leaving was particularly poor. I was wrong for abandoning my puppy who I’d never spent a day without and pawning her off on my mom while I crossed hemispheres and continents. For leaving when my mother and brother both needed me at home. Wrong to run from unresolved issues, to leave because I’d lost in love and in my career. To hide behind dreams and aspirations to justify my madness. To give up just like I had so many times before.

My motives were un-pure, the yearning for change, escape and deeper meaning had compromised them. I’m fairly intelligent, non-delusional and can admit that in certain aspects of leaving I f#$!ed up. Mostly before leaving in poor decisions I’d made the prior year, but even in leaving with unresolved issues looming.

Why say this now? Why not just pretend that it’s all good?
Well because I ran away to start over, yet I wasn’t ready to do so.  This F#$! up, these mistakes and oversights need to be mentioned. This is because they led me on the greatest journey which provided the best times of my life.

Still with all mistakes, there is a price to be paid. Relationships must be repaired, bills must be paid, and a hard look in the mirror and admission of guilt is in order, so this is that admission.

However, there is no price for what I have gained on this journey and for that I have no regrets.

I was right to leave. Why?

I left my puppy with my mom, passing along another responsibility to someone who already had far too many.

 The result?
My mom has a new best friend and wants to keep her forever. We’re currently in negotiations over custody.

I left my mom, who I would help with her crazily busy schedule to fend for herself, despite tearful pleadings to stay. She explained how I was her rock, her co-pilot and the person she could vent too. I left my brother who had recently become my partner in crime. Who despite his alpha male appearance had shared his thoughts and feelings with only me. The guy I’d hang out with every Sunday, going to the Ivar’s Bar in Mukilteo, to talk with Eddie our favorite bartender and bs about things. We had become not just brothers, but also very good friends.

The result?
Both found strength in each other and made new friends to confide in. I’ve now learned just how dependent I was on each of them. Living for 3 months without having anyone to share your deep thoughts with through conversation will teach you just how important the relationships you have at home really are. It also goes along way in teaching you to become a man and teaching you self reliance. I remember seeing a book in my mom’s car before leaving entitled “Codependent no more”. Some things you can learn in books, yet it seems this process happened organically. Life itself is one hell of a teacher once you decide that you will start living it on your terms.

I ran from my problems, debts and unresolved issues.

The result?
They didn’t vanish, they remain right where they were when I left. Yet I’m now happy about this fact, not overwhelmed. While I thought leaving would provide me a fresh start, I’ve learned my fresh start begins upon arriving home.
When I left I didn’t have the ability to change these things. I’d wallow in self pity, accept uncertainty in my life and allow mediocrity. Laziness and irresponsible behavior were just part of life.

I know things will be much different now. Hard work, renewed confidence and newfound clarity will drive me  to succeed in whatever I want in this life. No excuses, no regrets, no longer. Just action and results, inching me closer to what I’m truly after, happiness.

I left because I was broken, I had lost in love and in my career.

The result?
As John Mayer sings “I am in repair”. Heartbreak can really suck, there is no question about that. When I left I felt like I’d thrown 3 years of my life for nothing, on a relationship in which I was deeply committed. I now know that I just learned a 3 year long lesson and survived it without much collateral damage (I.e. a kid or a divorce).

In fact things recently came full circle, about two months ago. I remember sitting in the kitchen in my apartment here in Buenos Aires and staring out at the skyscrapers in Puerto Madero, my eyes welling with tears, heart thumping with anger and my stomach twisted in a knot. I’d just found out that my ex had gotten married too a new guy she’d known only 3 months.

Suddenly and uncontrollable, wide smile spread across my face and I started laughing uncontrollably. The tears that had formed as those of sadness fell as those of happiness. For some reason instead of the sadness that should be associated with such news, I felt brand new, happy and most of all free.

I’d lost nothing, gained knowledge and freedom. I was in a beautiful city, with gorgeous women and I’d lost 90 lbs and created a new and improved version of myself. Rick 2.0 is quite an upgrade to the old operating system.

All I can say is thank you to my ex, couldn’t have done it with you, couldn’t have done it without the motivation that the heartbreak provided. While I wish her the best, I know better.

As for my career, that’s still just getting started. I’m sure my family and friends probably get sick of my abstract ideas and need to do things differently. They wonder why I can’t be satisfied with normalcy. Still, I don’t think anyone who truly knows me would bet against me.

Upon returning home I will attain normalcy and hold down a steady job to pay the bills. Only however, until I can make it and achieve greatness. I’m too relentless not too and this journey has lit a real fire under my ass. Something that Ross Jeffries said in our interview that he would tell himself to stay motivated to find his muse was “no mediocre life, I will not live a mediocre life”. This rings true with what I want in my life. I want to stand out and never follow the status quo. The best experiences in life seem to be lived outside of ones comfort zone. This is where I plan on living my life.

I hid behind dreams and aspirations to justify my madness, gave up on an ordinary life to run away to another world.

The result?
I found what I’d been seeking for so long and learned that the answers I’d been looking for lied on the inside. It took a trip halfway around the world for me to become a man. Defining what you want in your life is essential. You need to know where you want to go if you plan on ending up there. I know what I want and I know that I will do whatever necessary to get there. Life experience and self reliance have helped me grow so much in a short period of time. Now I just have to apply everything I’ve learned, display the strength I’ve gained and enforce my own rules living life on my own terms.

This experiences was incredible. The places I saw and lessons I learned by exploring new places out on my own was an unmatched educational experience.

Photo used under Creative Commons from Bill

In Ft. Lauderdale I learned that sometimes a drunken jog on the beach at midnight is a great way to clear you mind. That old men inviting you to grab a drink on the beach might be after more than mojitos. That Alligators taste like chicken, but chewier. That an idealistic young traveler, a Jersey native on business and an Alaskan volunteer can become friends at a beach bar on $2 beer night. That the city busses here are more dangerous than anywhere in South America. That this stopping point in my voyage doubles as a nice vacation spot.

In Lima, Peru I learned that an open mind and saying yes to invitations can lead one to some truly amazing experiences. That a Chilean and a gringo can explore a new city and forge a strong friendship in the process. That if you have a suspicion that a girl might be a hooker, your probably right. That letting go of preconceived notions and warnings from the uninformed can reward you with a unique and authentic cultural experience. That overnight tour busses can be pretty unbelievable when you have a curvy Columbian girl sitting next to you.

Photo used under Creative Commons from Shen Hsieh

In Arica, Chile I learned that sometimes the best travel itinerary is a relaxing day on a sandy beach. That solo exploration in a foreign land can be very refreshing and a welcome change to the craziness o everyday life. That sunscreen is an absolute necessity when close to the equator in the middle of summer under a damaged Ozone. That surfing is definitely something I need to try.

In Santiago I learned that 2 day bus rides suck and splurging on a more expensive, more comfortable bus seat is a good idea. That your South America on a Shoestring Lonely Planet book might not have up to date information on hostel locations. That pollution in a city and smog can make a destination much less desirable.

Photo used under Creative Commons from Hugo Marcelo Mendez Campos

In Mendoza, Argentina I learned that sometimes it is necessary to slow down and take it all in. That when arriving in a foreign sity at midnight, it’s good to have some cash on hand. That 3 Canucks, 2 Aussies and an American can discuss world issues on Argentina and argue less than two friends do over fantasy football. That riding bikes and touring wineries while drinking Absinthe and unlimited wine with this same group can provide a truly amazing travel experience, one I will never forget.
That just before reaching what you thought was your dream destination, you may find a better one. That I love Mendoza, Argentina.

Photo used under Creative Commons from Beatrice Murch

Finally in Buenos Aires, Argentina I learned what it was like to live in a huge cosmopolitan city. What it was like to be among millions and yet feel isolated, unable to communicate anything of substance. That what I’ve been searching for doesn’t lie in a specific destination and has been with me all along. It just took a change in perspective to bring it out. That I could never be a full time travel writer and leave home for much more than 3 months. That motivation a strict routine and time to do what you enjoy, brings out your true passion in life.

When I started this little blog back in November, I had big dreams, but really just wanted to spread a positive message. Since then the site has become a huge success and surpassed what I thought was possible. LivingBueno.com continues to grow each month and gain popularity. The many positive reader comments I’ve received are humbling and really help keep this movement going.

I knew that I wasn’t the only young person who valued happiness over currency and material possessions, but it’s becoming clear that this group is huge and continues to grow. I’ve been inspired in my travels, seeing amazing things, meeting amazing people and gaining invaluable knowledge. I will continue to do my part to help spread this positive message and lead the movement of people like me, who just want to do what they love and be their best and pursue their happiness each and everyday.

I want to send a special thank you to all of the amazing people who I’ve had the chance to write about and interview over the past 6 months. Your kindness in sharing your experiences has been a huge motivation to myself and all my readers.

Photo used under Creative Commons from Zach Dischner

In Australia among the aboriginals exists a tradition in which young men from the tribes who are on the verge of adulthood are sent out along into the Outback to explore, think and survive. Learning self reliance, gaining a new perspective out of necessity. This voyage was no different for me. I may have thought I was the man before, yet know I know I am a man and have made this passage. I left Seattle a boy and I am returning a man. I threw myself into an unknown world alone and survived, learning so much about myself in the process.

In closing I’d like to leave you with a few quotes that have appeared on the site during these first 6 months that really sum up the message I try to convey and explain what this movement is all about.

“So, if you’re single and hesitating to make a move abroad because you think it’s just too complicated, I can only say you’re totally wrong about that!  It can be done—and faster and more easily than you think.  If we could do it in six weeks with a suburban home and four teenagers and two companies, what’s stopping you from packing your bags and leaving within the next month?”- Maya Frost

“If you're young and considering this, remember that there's no better time than now!  Fresh out of school, unmarried (generally), no career or family to consider, what's holding you back?  I know the situation is different for everyone, but I feel like there are attractive options for whatever place you're coming from.  I can say that living abroad has been THE best choice I ever made.  I wouldn't trade my life right now for anything.”- Evan Kubitschek

"It's okay to be confused. Everyone goes through that. It may sound like a cliché, but it is true about failing and not knowing what you want, just be prepared to fail. You should look forward to messing up as those are the moments that are the most filled with educational possibilities. You really don't know yourself unless you have failed." Frank Almeida

“The most effective fences exist only in our minds or, at least, that’s what I’ll tell myself until the next time I have to confront my finances.”- (from "Do travel writers go to Hell?")Thomas Kohnstamm

“Embrace strangers with open arms and dedicate time to friends and family. The emotional enrichment and unforgettable memories that you will enjoy are well worth the time spent. Don’t be distracted by the everyday struggle for material happiness because it is an illusion. True happiness is made through life experiences with amazing people and is impossible to find without a ready mind and an open heart. Any pursuit without these things is futile.” Rick A. Griffith




“Do you have any idea how lucky we are?” Sara asked as she passed the joint to our new Argentine friend Gaston. “I mean think about how many people never get the chance to do this. How many people do you know who have ever even done this?”

Granted we were high, but she was right. Sara was 27 and had been traveling for 2 months through South America. I met her while on the now infamous Mr. Hugo’s bikes and wine tour in Mendoza, Argentina.

Mr. Hugo was an older Argentine man with a welcoming heart, a mind for business and a heavy hand when pouring his home made wine for guests. I’d been invited by another group of travelers staying at my hostel and decided that the idea of a drunk bike ride in the sun was right up my alley.

After touring 4 wineries and a chocolate/Absinthe factory (nice mix huh?), my group and I posted up at Mr. Hugo’s for the “end of the tour free wine and socializing period”. Sara had talked with a Canadian girl in our group and came over and introduced herself, joining us in conversation.

We learned she had just come from Buenos Aires after finding romance with a handsome Argentine, only to wake up one morning with all of her valuables and her Casanova gone. She found out later that she wasn’t the first victim and this con man had quite the resume.

She was a pretty girl with bright blue eyes you could lose yourself in. We sparked up a conversation about my travels and writing. She promised that she’d follow my blog and it was about this point forward that our eyes kept meeting, exchanging sly smiles. As we prepared to catch the bus back into the city, Sara said she needed to get back as well, joining us on the bus into town.

She made plans with Lisa, the Canadian girl in our group, to come by our hostel later that evening. Before heading back to her hostel, Sara leaned in and kissed my cheek, “See you later.” she said smiling. We headed back to the hostel and I decided that after riding bikes and getting pleasantly drunk in 100 degree heat, a nap was in order.

I awoke around 10:30pm and after getting my bearings, I dizzily walked out to the hostels common area to grab some water to aid in repairing my impending hangover. “Hey stranger” I heard as I came around the corner. At the wooden table in the courtyard sat Sara, Lisa and their new friend Gaston, a local who they had met while I’d been napping.. They invited me to join them and I made my way over to the table still half asleep.

“We’re gonna go smoke a joint in the Plaza Independencia, you want to come?” Sarah asked.

Now I’m not a big fan of the burnout backpacker types who seem to travel more to party and live irresponsibly than to experience new places and cultures. That being said, I’m also not overly fond of the straight laced, Lonely planet, Money belt wearing types that obsess over getting pictures in front of everything that resembles a historic church or monument.

Falling somewhere in the middle, I figured smoking a joint in the plaza might be just what I was looking for and plus I needed to ease my hangover and pain from my sunburn. After all, The best travel stories seem to stem from accepted invitations.

Strolling through the plaza with 3 strangers, passing around a joint, I thought about what Sara had said moments earlier.

We were damn lucky.

The stories I’d pass along to my grand children were happening right now, with the exception whole passing a joint part.

Sara and I walked arm in arm, flirting with playful kisses. I decided to leave and head home before things got too out of control, despite the pleadings from the group. They wanted to go to a nearby club and I wasn’t feeling up to being in that kind of environment. In fact, I was a bit sleepy, go figure.

I remember waking up once more around 3:30 am that morning, hearing Sara and Lisa outside my room in the courtyard. I debated going out to join them and pulling Sara away to give her what she was seeking from me, validation of her worth that a con man had put into question.

I decided however that the con man had allegedly been in business a while and being safe was the smart play here. I lied awake playing out the scenes of our love that was never to be in my head. It seems that many times its is better there anyway…

A wonderful Vineyard in Mendoza

I reclined on the seat of the Chevalier Tour bus, lost in deep thought as the outskirts of Mendoza raced by out the window. Feelings of loneliness and sadness had just hit me. I was over 7,000 miles from home traveling alone and starting to experience symptoms of homesickness. I’d already made some amazing friends on this trip, but when traveling, these connections formed with others criss-crossing the globe are fleeting. The experiences you share are often the only thing that survives the tests of time and distance.

What If I just went home now? I thought to myself. There are so many things I miss even though I’ve been enjoying the greatest days of my life. I was only 3 weeks into a 3 month long journey of a lifetime and yet I was already yearning for the comforts of home.

I knew that this feeling will come and pass. I had to pull through and stay the course. It was time to finish what I’d started, realize my destiny. I knew that I could live with failure, but not with regret…